Eggs-cellent

My wife makes fantastic eggs. And I don’t say that lightly. I’ve enjoyed eggs my entire life, but the quality of those eggs varies greatly depending upon where you order them. My favorite place to order eggs is at home. I like eggs over medium, and when my wife makes me eggs, they’re perfectly over medium. I don’t think she times them. I think she cooks mainly by instinct.

At home when I’m served an egg I don’t put anything extra on it. No butter, no salt, no pepper, and definitely no ketchup. But if I eat out at a breakfast place, I almost always end up eating them with ketchup. That used to be because I always get hash browns with eggs, and I always pour ketchup on hash browns. And when they’re on the same plate, you end up with ketchup on the eggs, too. Lately, though, I just enjoy the taste of ketchup on eggs. Also hot sauce. In particular Tabasco, of which my favorite variety is chipotle flavor. Frank’s Red Hot is a close second.

I found out this morning that I’m fairly normal. I base that upon a survey I found on Buzzfeed. It says 54 percent of Americans put ketchup on their eggs at least some of the time.

When it comes to style, 39 percent of Americans say scrambled is the best way to eat eggs. 33 percent prefer them fried, which means either sunny side up, over easy, over medium or over hard. 21 percent like their eggs poached, and only seven percent say their favorite egg style is hard boiled.

Have you ever been put on a diet where you can only eat egg whites? 67 percent of Americans say they wouldn’t stick to that diet because egg whites alone are gross. I agree with that. I don’t eat egg whites alone for the same reasons I don’t drink decaffeinated coffee, non-alcoholic beer or diet soda. Without the caffeine, alcohol and sugar, respectively, I just don’t see the point. Same with yolks.

Here’s another way I’m more normal than I thought. I very much enjoy deviled eggs, but I don’t like egg salad. And they’re basically the same thing. But one tastes good to me, and the other one doesn’t. According to the survey, 58 percent of Americans enjoy deviled eggs, but only 52 percent like egg salad. That means, if I’m doing the math correctly, up to six percent feel the same way I do about deviled eggs and egg salad.

I have actually eaten a large number of egg salad sandwiches in my life because my wife enjoys them, and we’d been together about three years before she found out I didn’t. I dislike egg salad, but I dislike confrontation even more.