Since 1986, I've thought the city of Fresno has an image problem. That was the year I saw the mini-series "Fresno" on CBS. "Fresno" was billed as a parody of night-time soap operas like "Dallas", "Knots Landing", "Dynasty", "Falcon Crest", "Flamingo Road" and "The Colbys". And since satire and parody are my favorite kinds of comedy, I was pretty sure I'd enjoy "Fresno". In reality, it was just okay.
Set in Fresno, California, the story focuses on the once-wealthy Kensington family, whose raisin-growing empire has fallen on hard times. The Kensingtons are led by matriarch Charlotte, played by Carol Burnett, who is locked in a power struggle with rival raisin magnate Tyler Cane, played by Dabney Coleman, for control of the Fresno raisin industry.
The show follows the marital conflict between Charlotte's scheming son Cane and his wife Talon, and the problems of Charlotte's sensitive younger son Kevin, who at one point announces that he is becoming celibate as a protest against whaling. Other characters include a constantly-shirtless ranchhand named Torch, and Charlotte's adopted daughter Tiffany, who is searching for her biological parents. As the story reaches its climax, it is revealed that Tiffany is Charlotte's biological daughter, fathered by Tyler after Charlotte's husband died in a tragic raisin dehydrator accident.
I looked up the mini-series "Fresno" on the Internet Movie Database to see if there were any memorable quotes listed there. Here's what I found. At one point, a farm worker named Juan asks Charlotte for a raise. Charlotte replies, "Juan, there are two kinds of people in this world, those who have and those who have not. I have. You have not."
The second quote was from Tiffany, who said, simply, "Which one of you bozos is my father?" Neither one of those quotes is rip-roaringly funny, and neither is the third quote, which I think was in the opening shot of the program. A Spanish conquistador says with disgust as he spits out the grapes he is tasting, "These grapes taste like Fresno!" That's how I found out that "fresno" in Spanish means "ash tree".
It was the very existence of the mini-series that led me to believe Fresno has an image problem. I did more digging on the Internet, and I found out that people in Fresno are aware of the image problem. Some have a chip on their shoulder about it. Others don't.
It stems from this: Fresno is the size of a major city. And if Fresno happened to be located in probably 45 of the 50 states, chances are it would have its own NBA team and be considered a cultural Mecca and metropolitan vacation destination. But it's located in California. And the rest of the country sees California this way: there's Los Angeles, with beaches and Hollywood and Disneyland and beautiful people. There's San Francisco, with the Golden Gate Bridge. There's San Diego, which is like Los Angeles but with fewer problems. Then there's the rest of California. But who cares, because if you're going to California, the whole point is to get to the ocean anyway, right? That leads to the belief that the only people who live in Fresno are those who moved to California but didn't have enough money to get all the way to the coast. In reality, there's plenty to like about Fresno, including Fresno State University and the beautiful San Joaquin and Central Valleys.
And believe me, in Boise we know what it's like to have a chip on your shoulder. In fact, I've been asked if it was true that Boise was settled by people who were too lazy to finish the Oregon Trail. And someone else, after hearing that I've been on the radio in Boise for 27 years, asked me, "Did you ever try to make it in Portland or Seattle?", as if the natural progression would have one leaving Boise.
At least, I thought, we've never had a mini-series named after us just because the setting seemed funny all by itself. Then I discovered Hulu on the Internet. And one night I was watching the show "Taxi" when the character Bobby announces he's been chosen for a part in a TV pilot. He says, "I play the oldest son in an old family clan in Idaho. It's called 'Boise'." Now I wonder if that's where they got the idea for "Fresno."
